TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

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Valka D'Ur
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Valka D'Ur » Thu Nov 30, 2017 6:16 am

Lucy wrote:
Thu Nov 30, 2017 3:26 am
Valka D'Ur wrote:
Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:54 am
My mother used to make a sort of "absentminded ding-a-ling" gesture with her finger beside her head if she forgot something, and she'd grin and say, "Alzheimers!".

I finally told her I would appreciate if she'd stop doing that. She knew perfectly well that Alzheimers is what killed my grandmother (not her mom, my dad's mom), and my dad and I found her dead on her bedroom floor.

So I have no sense of humor whatsoever about Alzheimers. I regard it as a hostile act for people to shove such "humor" in my face, once they know my family's circumstances.
Humor is how we handled the Alzheimers in my family. And humor is how we continue to handle the other brain problems. There's been some really difficult shit, so we make light of it to try to be less miserable. It definitely helps. And it signals to people unfamiliar with the situation that we've accepted it for what it is and they don't have to tiptoe.

Yeah, making light of someone's trauma, when you know about it, is being a dick. Do you have any sense of humor about forgetfulness at all? i can't imagine not laughing at myself when I notice my brain hiccuped.
It's scary when I suddenly forget things I've known for decades, or can't think of some complex word or phrase I've been comfortable using. My grandmother had Alzheimers, and my dad was diagnosed with dementia over 10 years ago.

This is why I'm so angry with the current federal government with their inadequate approach to doctor-assisted dying. I don't want to end up like my grandmother. I'd rather be dead than end up like her, suffering as she did for the last year of her life. Thank goodness she went relatively quickly, rather than spending a decade or more as just a body that has to be cared for and there's nothing coherent going on in the mind. She was constantly afraid, because she didn't know anything, didn't recognize any of us, and could no longer care for herself (and since my dad and I weren't that well either, we found it difficult).

What I want is the legal right to make advance arrangements, so it's my choice. That's not part of the legislation, and the kicker is that once a doctor signs that piece of paper giving his diagnosis, the person is not legally able to give consent or make their own arrangements, nor can anyone else give consent even if the patient expresses that he/she wants it.

As for gallows humor... I find nothing funny about forgetfulness. It's scary. I'm upfront about it, though. For example, if I go into a room and forget why I went there, I just return to where I was, hoping something will jog my memory. It usually does. Or if I forget someone's name, I just tell them, "I'm sorry, but I'm blanking on your name, please remind me."

I'm constantly writing notes to myself, that this or that has to be done. I don't rely on just my memory any more, because I don't keep a regular schedule, and sometimes days just flow from one to the other and I lose track of time. I've got a note on my typing table right now, reminding myself to take care of month-end bills tomorrow.
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Aimee
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Aimee » Fri Dec 01, 2017 6:19 pm

Valka D'Ur wrote:
Thu Nov 30, 2017 6:16 am
As for gallows humor... I find nothing funny about forgetfulness. It's scary.
Interesting. My short-term memory's pretty shot (and you're right, it is scary when you manage to forget your own name or something), but I'm the opposite way, often cracking jokes about it. It's probably a coping mechanism. If you can laugh about something it doesn't seem nearly as dangerous or frustrating.

Needless to say, I enjoy gallows humour. But it has to be in the appropriate situation. If you use it to make light of someone who's upset about the subject you're an asshole.

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Cutlass
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Cutlass » Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:17 am

Aimee wrote:
Fri Dec 01, 2017 6:19 pm
Valka D'Ur wrote:
Thu Nov 30, 2017 6:16 am
As for gallows humor... I find nothing funny about forgetfulness. It's scary.
Interesting. My short-term memory's pretty shot (and you're right, it is scary when you manage to forget your own name or something), but I'm the opposite way, often cracking jokes about it. It's probably a coping mechanism. If you can laugh about something it doesn't seem nearly as dangerous or frustrating.

Needless to say, I enjoy gallows humour. But it has to be in the appropriate situation. If you use it to make light of someone who's upset about the subject you're an asshole.

I agree with Aimee here. Humor in the face of the scary is a coping mechanism. Memory loss is scary. Helplessness is scary. Sometimes you have to stand up to scary and spit in its face. That's what gallows humor is.

Ferocitus
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Ferocitus » Tue Dec 05, 2017 10:42 pm

I'm not going to hang around to find out.

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Cutlass
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Cutlass » Sat Feb 03, 2018 11:41 pm

Appreciating dark humor seems to be a strong sign of intelligence
Research Digest

Christian Jarrett, Research Digest

Jan. 24, 2017, 6:05 PM 27,733
Understanding jokes requires a certain amount of mental agility, psychologists tell us, because you need to recognise a sudden shift in meaning, or appreciate the blending of odd contexts that don't normally go together.

A new study in the journal Cognitive Processing has tested whether intelligence plays the same role in the appreciation of sick or black humour: the kind of jokes that make light of death, illness and the vulnerable. Consistent with past research linking intelligence with joke appreciation, the participants who most liked cartoons based on black humour also scored highest on verbal and non-verbal IQ.

Fourteen researchers, led by Ulrike Willinger at the Medical University of Vienna, asked 156 participants, with an average age of 33 and including 76 women, to rate their comprehension and enjoyment of 12 black humour cartoons taken from The Black Book by Uli Stein. For instance, one cartoon depicted a confused man holding a public telephone, the voice coming from the phone saying: "Here is the answering machine of the self-help association for Alzheimer patients. If you still remember your topic, please speak after the tone."

The participants also completed basic tests of their verbal and non-verbal IQ and answered questions about their mood, aggressive tendencies and educational background.

The researchers identified three distinct groups of participants based on their understanding and appreciation for the sick cartoons (incidentally, age and gender appeared not to be relevant factors). One group showed the highest sick humour appreciation and comprehension, and they also scored the highest on verbal and non-verbal IQ, were better educated, and scored lower for aggression and bad mood. This fits with past research showing that sense of humour correlates with IQ, but refutes the somewhat commonly held belief that people who like black humour tend to be grumpy and perhaps a little prone to sadism.

A second group showed moderate comprehension and the lowest sick joke enjoyment. These people had average intelligence scores, but showed the most negative mood and the highest aggression. So perhaps opposite to what you might expect, this research found no evidence that grumpy, aggressive people enjoy sick or black humour. Meanwhile, the final group showed moderate sick humour comprehension and preference, and they had average intelligence scores, generally positive mood and moderate aggression scores.

Willinger and her team said their findings suggested black humour processing is a "complex information-processing task", and were consistent with past research suggesting that low mood impairs humour appreciation, this seeming to be true even in the case of sick jokes.

Apparently it takes a certain amount of intelligence, good mood and calmness to recognise and enjoy the "playful fiction" of black humour.

Read the original article on Research Digest. Copyright 2017. Follow Research Digest on Twitter.
http://www.businessinsider.com/dark-hum ... nce-2017-1

So us dark humor people are smart! :mrgreen:

Synsensa
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Synsensa » Sat Feb 03, 2018 11:53 pm

Reminds me of those articles which say if you like staying up late then you're more likely to be intelligent and creative.

Seems more a method of feeling superior than anything else, but maybe I'm just jaded.

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Valka D'Ur
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Valka D'Ur » Sun Feb 04, 2018 12:14 am

For instance, one cartoon depicted a confused man holding a public telephone, the voice coming from the phone saying: "Here is the answering machine of the self-help association for Alzheimer patients. If you still remember your topic, please speak after the tone."
I see absolutely nothing funny about this. NOTHING.

But I guess Alzheimers jokes are funny to people who never had to watch the most important and meaningful person in their life die of it.

By the way, my IQ scores are just fine, thank you - well above average, last time I was tested.
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Cutlass
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Cutlass » Sun Feb 04, 2018 12:18 am

Valka D'Ur wrote:
Sun Feb 04, 2018 12:14 am
For instance, one cartoon depicted a confused man holding a public telephone, the voice coming from the phone saying: "Here is the answering machine of the self-help association for Alzheimer patients. If you still remember your topic, please speak after the tone."
I see absolutely nothing funny about this. NOTHING.

But I guess Alzheimers jokes are funny to people who never had to watch the most important and meaningful person in their life die of it.

By the way, my IQ scores are just fine, thank you - well above average, last time I was tested.

It's not that anyone finds Alzheimers funny. It's that humor can be a coping mechanism for dealing with things that are not funny.

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Valka D'Ur
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Valka D'Ur » Sun Feb 04, 2018 12:36 am

Then if somebody makes a joke and another person says, "Please don't use that humor around me because it brings back very painful memories," the first person should respect that instead of berating the second person for not having a sense of humor.
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Timsup2nothin
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Re: TOTD 11/3 What do you think of Gallows Humor?

Post by Timsup2nothin » Sun Feb 04, 2018 5:25 am

Valka D'Ur wrote:
Sun Feb 04, 2018 12:36 am
Then if somebody makes a joke and another person says, "Please don't use that humor around me because it brings back very painful memories," the first person should respect that instead of berating the second person for not having a sense of humor.
Depending on the venue this can be a very reasonable request. If I went to a dinner party and someone was telling car salesman jokes I would think it reasonable to say "I used to be a car salesman" and expect it to be taken into account. If I were at a comedy club and the headliner was telling car salesman jokes I would expect that standing up in a huff and complaining would just get me laughed at.

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