Identity

If it don't go elsewhere, it goes here.
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Cutlass
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Re: Identity

Post by Cutlass » Mon Jan 15, 2018 1:02 pm

The English language is stupid. :?

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Catharsis
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Re: Identity

Post by Catharsis » Mon Jan 15, 2018 6:38 pm

Cutlass wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:04 pm
I'm a net person. And by that I'm a person who spends a great deal of their time, and has a great deal of their interactions with other people, on the net. And I have been for over 20 years now. This is where I live. And seems to me that is true, to a greater or lesser extent, with all of us here. :)
Yeah I'd identify with that too. Although nowadays that's becoming the norm. The internet forum may be dying out but there're more netizens than ever. Possibly more netizens than non-netizens.
Try to be the reason some guy receives a free fidget spinner.

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Cutlass
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Re: Identity

Post by Cutlass » Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:39 pm

Catharsis wrote:
Mon Jan 15, 2018 6:38 pm
Yeah I'd identify with that too. Although nowadays that's becoming the norm. The internet forum may be dying out but there're more netizens than ever. Possibly more netizens than non-netizens.


The forum dying part is a problem. Reddit and facebook are no places to meet and get to know people.

Lexicus
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Re: Identity

Post by Lexicus » Tue Jan 16, 2018 12:37 am

Cutlass wrote:
Mon Jan 15, 2018 10:39 pm
The forum dying part is a problem. Reddit and facebook are no places to meet and get to know people.
That isn't totally true, there are good subreddits and groups on Facebook. I stay off reddit but it's very difficult to make general statements about it as the experience in different subreddits varies so widely. Similarly despite Zuckerberg's efforts to kill off the main good thing about Facebook (the community groups and content pages) it is still worth using for that reason, and I've made several online friends via that avenue. Of course, somewhat proving your point about forums, the only online people I've met in meatspace have been on forums, so...

Also naturally I too am an Internet Denizen which I think sounds more pretentious (and therefore, better) than net person.

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Cutlass
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Re: Identity

Post by Cutlass » Tue Jan 16, 2018 1:24 am

Lexicus wrote:
Tue Jan 16, 2018 12:37 am
That isn't totally true, there are good subreddits and groups on Facebook. I stay off reddit but it's very difficult to make general statements about it as the experience in different subreddits varies so widely. Similarly despite Zuckerberg's efforts to kill off the main good thing about Facebook (the community groups and content pages) it is still worth using for that reason, and I've made several online friends via that avenue. Of course, somewhat proving your point about forums, the only online people I've met in meatspace have been on forums, so...

There's one place on reddit that I'm at least interacting with some of the people over time. But I'm not really so much making friends. I'm not on facebook anymore, and never found anything good about that.


Also naturally I too am an Internet Denizen which I think sounds more pretentious (and therefore, better) than net person.
I've never been able to shake my blue collar upbringing enough to get properly pretentious.

GoodEnoughForMe
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Re: Identity

Post by GoodEnoughForMe » Wed Jan 17, 2018 2:21 pm

Twitch is a surprisingly good place to meet people online. Live interaction and many streamers have their own Discord. I met a really cool artist via it who let me crash at their place in LA for 5 days.

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endsjustifythememe
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Re: Identity

Post by endsjustifythememe » Fri Jan 19, 2018 1:32 pm

Timsup2nothin wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:57 am
It always bothered me that people ask "what do you do?" expecting and usually getting an answer appropriate to the different question "what's your job?"
"What do you do?"

"I study ethnology and work on the side"

"What does that even do?"

"We look at different peoples, at their history, what unites them, how they act and how they think"

"Okay, sure, but how is that useful?" / "Okay, sure, but how does that get you a job?" "Who even reads those publications?"

This is what the majority of smalltalk really boils down to. You're, as a person, are first identified, questioned, then assessed based on either "net benefit for humanity" or "personal success scale". It seems that, if you at least have a job, then you are assessed on how "good" said job is, you have a "raison d'etre", because almost every job that has been established for quite some time has a place in our world: We need garbagemen because we produce lots of waste. We need toiletwomen because we shit in public bathrooms. We need policemen because we kill, rape, rob. We need judges to condemn them, and so forth.

It's another way to look at identity. In German we have a split of words: Beruf (job) means the trade that you are in, Berufung (calling) means vocation, a sort of divine will that sends you on the right path. To me these seem like remnants of the crisis of identity that I talked about in my OP. For most people simply existing is not enough already, so subconsciously we justify our existence in various ways. I see this way of thinking also in the overtly protestant parts of the Anglosphere, where "work ethic" has been a central dogma for centuries.

Have to say I hate it with a passion. I don't want to be reduced to my way of making income. I don't want to reduce my conversational partner to that. What interests me in peoples is what they like, what they think, what they feel, what keeps them up at night, what makes them laugh, what makes their blood boil. I have a friend who asks all his dates: "If you could, what animal would you be?" It's horrible chliché and probably doesn't have the best success quota, but god damn do I like it better than "what do you do?". Because the subtle implication, that implication that blows with that question like a soft breeze, is that, if you don't "do anything", you have no reason to be there.
aka brian emo aka der ewige lude aka mangoloid aka hera cleetus aka carl the youngest aka based evans

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endsjustifythememe
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Re: Identity

Post by endsjustifythememe » Fri Jan 19, 2018 1:46 pm

Cutlass wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:04 pm
I'm a net person. And by that I'm a person who spends a great deal of their time, and has a great deal of their interactions with other people, on the net. And I have been for over 20 years now. This is where I live. And seems to me that is true, to a greater or lesser extent, with all of us here. :)
I am not a net person, I am a hopeless addict. Not even that, I have stockholm syndrome. My screen owns me and I love him for it. I differ a great deal from your description however. My internet pursuits are solitary. IaLS and CFOT are the only forums where I post, at least now they are. I have a couple of other platforms, but those I use to externalize my memory: They are giant databases of me and everything I do. They list with awkward meticulousness what I have listened or seen on what day, how I felt about it. My thoughts are stored on the global internet highway, a part of my brain is. I don't interact much if even at all with the people on there. I just leave a trace. I am not a pathfinder, I am Hänsel and Gretel as they enter the dark forest and leave a trail of breadcrumbs.

With the exception of you guys and the occasional social media visit all of my socializing is done in person. My best friends live right here in my neighborhood and I am there by daily, if only to simply exchange thoughts. I am not really a shy or reserved person, I come off strong, often times offend other people, make them feel awkward or out of place. I feel very strongly about my opinions and voice them whenever asked. I have a hobby of embarrassing my girlfriend/close friends whenever we're out in public. I'm a highly extroverted person, very talkative, I just need a lot of alone time. Kedrick called this the "antisocial extrovert", I don't know if it fits me.

CFOT and IaLS are gems in the rough. I genuinely love the community, well, CFOT less so recently. But aside from you guys.. I feel it's mostly terrible. The internet brings out the worst in people. Then again I am also a hopeless elitist, so posting on Reddit / YT / Social Media is just inane to me. I would much prefer an actual conversation.
aka brian emo aka der ewige lude aka mangoloid aka hera cleetus aka carl the youngest aka based evans

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Cutlass
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Re: Identity

Post by Cutlass » Sat Jan 20, 2018 1:18 am

endsjustifythememe wrote:
Fri Jan 19, 2018 1:46 pm
Cutlass wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:04 pm
I'm a net person. And by that I'm a person who spends a great deal of their time, and has a great deal of their interactions with other people, on the net. And I have been for over 20 years now. This is where I live. And seems to me that is true, to a greater or lesser extent, with all of us here. :)
I am not a net person, I am a hopeless addict. Not even that, I have stockholm syndrome. My screen owns me and I love him for it. I differ a great deal from your description however. My internet pursuits are solitary. IaLS and CFOT are the only forums where I post, at least now they are. I have a couple of other platforms, but those I use to externalize my memory: They are giant databases of me and everything I do. They list with awkward meticulousness what I have listened or seen on what day, how I felt about it. My thoughts are stored on the global internet highway, a part of my brain is. I don't interact much if even at all with the people on there. I just leave a trace. I am not a pathfinder, I am Hänsel and Gretel as they enter the dark forest and leave a trail of breadcrumbs.

With the exception of you guys and the occasional social media visit all of my socializing is done in person. My best friends live right here in my neighborhood and I am there by daily, if only to simply exchange thoughts. I am not really a shy or reserved person, I come off strong, often times offend other people, make them feel awkward or out of place. I feel very strongly about my opinions and voice them whenever asked. I have a hobby of embarrassing my girlfriend/close friends whenever we're out in public. I'm a highly extroverted person, very talkative, I just need a lot of alone time. Kedrick called this the "antisocial extrovert", I don't know if it fits me.

CFOT and IaLS are gems in the rough. I genuinely love the community, well, CFOT less so recently. But aside from you guys.. I feel it's mostly terrible. The internet brings out the worst in people. Then again I am also a hopeless elitist, so posting on Reddit / YT / Social Media is just inane to me. I would much prefer an actual conversation.

I wish I had the friends in real life to talk to. I have one friend left. We see each other every other week or so. The rest of the time I really don't have anyone to talk to except on the net. Which is why I'm on it all the time, and created this place.

It's a lot harder to talk to people on the net and have friends now than it used to be. There are a number of people I talk to. But close friends are fewer and further between. For the most part I feel that if I stopped coming around, very few people would notice or care.

I'm not as good at connecting to people IRL as I used to be, and I was never that good to begin with. And now I don't even dare try to make new friends.

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endsjustifythememe
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Re: Identity

Post by endsjustifythememe » Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:33 pm

Yeah. Shit sucks. Making new friends is difficult and awkward when you're out of your teens. I guess once you're 40 or older it becomes borderline inconceivable.

When I just came to Korea I was living in a Spa because I did not have money for a hotel. It was in a deplorable state.. The rooms were small and had no windows. No AC. It smelled like unwashed feet and mold all day. Every time I left the house I had to look at old Korean guys and their saggy fucking balls. At some shitty tea-store where all they sold was ice-cold sweetened soft drink "tea" I overheard some guy talking in English. It was a Korean dude, sitting there with (presumably) an American friend. I don't even remember what exactly the hangup was -- He said something and I just felt the need to comment on it. The words were burning on my lips. My brain was firing Neurons like Chinese New Year, I put all the puzzle parts together, conjured my thickest grin and, apologizing beforehand for the disturbance, charged into their conversation. The girl seemed a little put off, the Korean guy on the other hand seemed to welcome my attack. He asked me to sit down with him.. We had some smalltalk and then he asked me about my situation. I explained to him how I live and that I was looking for an apartment. A few days later and he got me a date with a Korean real estate agent. He did all the translating for me. We visited 3 different apartments, one of them I instantly fell in love with. He signed the contract for me using his own name. He vowed for me. Thanks, Dongho.
aka brian emo aka der ewige lude aka mangoloid aka hera cleetus aka carl the youngest aka based evans

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